"Beyond Borders" by Amanda Rosberg Olsson

I was out in the forest doing nothing, just fooling around, when I met him for the first time. I was laying in the grass in the shadow of a tree in a glade deep in the woods.

I didn’t hear him approach, even though I have excellent hearing and know all the sounds a forest could possibly make. Suddenly, when I opened my eyes, he was there, leaning over me. He scared me, so I screamed. I immediately stopped when I saw him flinch back and his eyes opened wide in surprise.

I scrambled to my feet. A couple of meters away from me stood he. I watched him, couldn’t take my eyes of him and he watched me in the same way. He was handsome. His hair was brown although I thought it black in the shadows, it was long, nearly as long as my own. Then I looked into his eyes, oh, those eyes. I was never able to decide on what colour they were. One moment they were blue like the summer sky and an iced lake, the next they were green as a blossoming meadow, such as the one I was standing on, or even like the purest emerald. Sometimes they were dark as a stormy ocean, as I had seen in paintings.

They enchanted me. They were open, yet untelling. They held questions, both about myself and about him, but no answers. I looked away, surprised at my own insightfulness. When I looked at him the next time, I was able to see the whole of him; his slender figure, the muscular arms and chest. He had sort of delicate features, but all of him a kind of hardness to it. I couldn’t put my finger on it, perhaps it was his posture.

I’m not sure how long we stood there. I couldn’t get enough of his, well, the whole of him. But then I became very aware of his gazing eyes. How they were watching me. He looked at him as if he hadn’t looked at anyone before, or maybe it was as if no one had looked at him.

“Hi,” I said.

He looked at me with a confused expression on his face. He didn’t answer me.

“Who are you?” I tried again. Again he looked puzzled. “Don’t you understand? I…” I began but he interrupted me.

“I do,” he said and his voice amazed me. It was gentle yet at the same time, dark and hard. “I just didn’t… remember.” I didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry I startled you.” He sounded sincere.

“It’s alright.” An awkward silence appeared between us. I felt I had to say something. “My name is…” again he interrupted me.

“Evaria.” He said.

“No…” I said a little confused. “My name is Cara.”

“Cara…” he repeated quietly, as if to himself.

I wanted to ask him his, but I had a feeling that he wouldn’t answer. I hoped that he would say something, but he didn’t, he just stood there and again I drowned in his eyes. They were just as untelling this time. Just as closed. I wanted to open them. When I next was able to tare my eyes from his, the sun was setting.

“I have to go.” I said quietly. He said nothing but I saw a movement in his eyes.

I turned around and began to walk away. I wasn’t sure but I thought that I heard him say a quiet ‘tank you’ behind me. I started to run.

I spent the next day there with him. I did not know why, but I was drawn to him. He had some kind of sadness to him, one that I couldn’t place or understand. It was different from all I had experienced before. Not like the loss of money, not like loneliness, not like being lovesick or not like losing someone dear to you.

No, it wasn’t like that, but it did seem as if something was missing.

He had caught some kind of animal and he was cooking it over a campfire.

“Hello,” he said when he saw me. “How are you?”

I felt unsure of myself, I honestly had no idea why I had gone to see him, and he was acting differently from the day before.

“I’m fine, thanks, how about yourself?” To me it sounded silly, but he smiled at me.

“I’m better than I’ve been. I must thank you.”

“For what?” I asked.

“For yesterday, you helped me to remember.” I didn’t know what he meant by that, but the fact that I had helped him made me somewhat happy and just seeing his smile, made me smile as well. But I wasn’t able to face the openness of his eyes for long, so I had to look away, embarrassed. It was strange, the day before I had wanted to open him up, but now when he was like a book, I still couldn’t find any answers in him. “Have you eaten yet?” he seemed to have noticed my confusion and changed the subject. “Would you like something to eat?”

Still somewhat unsure of myself, I hesitantly sat down by the fire, a meter or so away from him.

“I’ve just had breakfast, but I’ll keep you company if you’d like.” He nodded with a content look on his face. “I’d like to know your name” I went on, my voice sounding much more steady than I felt.

He began to eat. A little sarcastic smile clad his lips.

“So would I.” I meant to ask him what he had meant to by that curious statement but he interrupted me, before I had even opened my mouth. “Do you have any family?”

“Why, yes. I live with father and mother and with my two brothers.”

“Will you tell me about them?”

And so I told him about my family. At first weighed every word carefully, but soon my tongue loosened, I felt safe to tell him anything.

I told him about my mother, whose pottery was famous all the way to the capitol and about my father, the brilliant inn-keeper.

“What about your brothers then?” He seemed genuinely interested.

“My brothers are my father’s pride. They’re honest, clever and work hard.” I couldn’t help myself from smiling. I too was proud of my over-achieving brothers.

“You love them.” I nodded at the obvious.

“They have always been kind to me, and because they work so hard, I never had to.”

“They love you too perhaps.”

I looked at him and smiled even more.

“I would not call them affectionate, but they do care for me. I remember the first time they went with father to Amber. I didn’t care that much, I was only six then. When they came back the next day, Raylon had bought me a doll, a small raggedy thing. It’s still sitting on a shelf over my bed. I couldn’t bring myself to play with it, it was to precious.”

He finished his meal.

“The first time he said he loved you.”

“Yes. And I don’t know how many times he’s said that he regret it. From that day on until I was twelve, I wouldn’t leave him and his friends alone.” I laughed at the memory.

“How old is he?”

“Twenty-one, for years older than me.”

“And your other brother?”

“Mica he’s nineteen. He’s the playful one, the one who kept pulling my hair and holding my down on the ground. Fortunately, he grew out of that, but he still keeps trying to embarrass me from time to time.

“Your family seems nice.”

“Yeah, they are.” I tossed him another smile. It wasn’t often that someone really spoke to me, wanting to know things about me. Sometimes, some young traveller staying at the inn flirted with me, and not so rarely, some boy from the village tried to lure mw behind a tree somewhere. But they weren’t really interested in me.

To summarize, I was flattered at the attention.

And it didn’t stop there, he asked me about my home, my village, only adding a question occasionally to keep the conversation going. He seemed so curious and I was happy to have someone to talk to.

The day went by so quickly. I went with him to gather food and helped him prepare it. We ate together as the day ended and eventually I became tired and leaned back in the grass. There were no clouds covering the night sky, it was enchanting to watch the beautiful stars and the crescent moon. I listened to his voice as he spoke to me about far away places, it was so soothing and reassuring.

I fell asleep. I’m not sure about when or for how long. It was still dark when I woke up. It was not from cold, as I noticed that he had put a blanket over me, it seemed clean enough but it smelled nicely of something, I could only guess that it was of him.

I sat up thinking that I should go home, mother would worry. I tried to move slowly, not wanting to wake him, had he been sleeping, but there had been no need for me to worry. He sat there, leaning against a tree, with a look of keeping watch, guarding me. I smiled, a little confused. I was very happy with the day and did not want it to end, although it already had.

“I should go home.” He nodded.

I rose, a bit unsteady. He did too.

“I’ll walk you back, so you can show me that home of yours.”

I really didn’t need an escort as I had more or less lived in these woods since I was a child. But I realised that I wanted his company.

Neither of us said anything on the way back and didn’t feel a need to either. I felt a connection to this man; I was falling in love, why or with what I did not know. Perhaps it was his presence.

About halfway back, I took his hand in mine. I was nearly as surprised as he was. But the second that he held mine back, I was caught with joy. My heart lifted and I felt content with the world around me, everything became so much more beautiful and I wanted nothing more from life, than to feel his hand in mine.

The next day, I brought food with me, fresh bread and fruit from the inn’s kitchen. He welcomed me with a smile and we sat together. That day, we spoke very little, we just were together. We ate and sat, me leaning against his chest. It was as if we had become addicted to each other’s touch. He held my hand, stroked my arm and touched my hair. It was perfect. I had time to think, about him, and I came to realise things I that made me uneasy. I did not want to deal with them, but I couldn’t bring myself to ignore them.

“You are not from around here.” I paused but he didn’t say anything. “I don’t want you to leave here; I know that I would miss you.”

He just kept on toying with my hair.

“I do not plan to leave.”

And I smiled, never happier.

I cannot say exactly what it was we did, as it was nothing special at all. At one point, I turned to him; we were than lying next to each other, one of his arms around my waist.’

“Would you like to meet my family?” I had no idea where the question had come from. He actually smiled a little, something I hadn’t seen him do often.

“I’d love to meet those closest to you.”

I snuggled closer to him, how one man could make me so happy with such few words, I had no idea. I think it was then that I truly fell in love with him.

My parents were not suspicious people, they would not ask where I had met him, When I was younger, they had been concerned about me being of in the woods on my own, but my brothers had tired of baby-sitting me and they had come to trust me to be able to take care of my self.

I brought him home with me the next day, early in the afternoon. I couldn’t introduce him as I didn’t know his name, but told the names of my family. He evaded the question as he had done with me before, by asking my father about his inn and my mother about her craft. At dinner, he entertained my brothers by speaking of techniques with the bow and knife. He later dazzled us all with his display of his skill with the bow out in the yard. After hitting the bulls eye of a quickly made target he ha both Raylon’s and Mica’s undying devotion.

My father was also impressed and offered him work. I cannot describe the happiness I felt when my newly-found crush accepted.

All who knew me was surprised to see that I from that day on didn’t spend every waking moment in the forest, but at the work site, where trees were being cleared and he worked.

It became all too apparent how I felt about him; my mother gave me knowing smiles and Mica teased me about it when his latest idol wasn’t within earshot.

Today, I would call that the happiest time of my life and he seemed content, if not happy. It hurt me sometimes that I rarely could make him smile. I felt inadequate, yet I force myself to disregard it and to be happy with just getting to spend my days with him, to be close to him and to be able to hold his hand when father wasn’t around. It seemed that he though that father would be angry with him for having his daughter being in love with him. I thought it to be endearing, that he perhaps was concerned with father’s opinion of him.

One late afternoon, he was sitting in a glade in the forest, apparently lost in thought. How I knew where to find him, I don’t know. I stood watching his back for a few moments before I approached him and sat down close to him.

He looked at me and I at him. As the last rays of sunlight played over his face, I was gripped by a longing to take him in my arms and melt into him. I leaned forward and hesitantly put my lips to his. It was my first kiss ever and I felt uncertain of my self as he first did not kiss me back. But then, when I felt his response my heart lifted and my soul sang. With my eyes still closed I whispered to him: ‘I love you’ and I knew that it was true.

When I retracted and opened my eyes, I expected to see love in his, but I only saw sorrow and guilty longing.

I opened my mouth to speak, but at first no sound came out. I swallowed and my throat felt completely dry.

“What’s wrong?” I finally got out, trying to gather the pieces of my shattered pride. Half of me wished for him to look away, the rest feared that I was going to lose him forever if he did.

“I wish nothing more than to be able to tell you that I love you, but I just…”

“…don’t” it was I who looked away as I interrupted him. He put his hand to my cheek and turned my facet o his.<P> “I don’t know, I’m not even sure if I’m capable of loving at all.” It took a couple of moments before I realised what he had said, the meaning of it.<P> “What are you…How can that be?”<P> He sighed and let his hand fall from man cheek, but I put my hand on his at it lay on his knee.<P> “I guess you deserve to know.” E paused and looked down. I missed his gaze. “the reason I haven’t told you my name is that I don’t remember what it is. Some time ago, I don’t know how long, I entered a shrine of some sort, something happened there and when I woke up the next time, I was changed.” When he didn’t continue for a couple of moments I was just about to ask him what he meant when he went on. “I don’t know what happened in there or why I went in. I think I wanted to gain some kind of power, I read something about it of the shrine walls. Since then, I’ve simply been wandering around, completely lost and forgetting what it meant to be human. I even stopped thinking and lived purely on instinct.” He looked at me again. “Until I met you! I am so grateful to you, for making me think again, for giving some of what I had lost back to me.” He put one of his hands to my cheek and the hand on his with his own. “You are such a great person and I admire your strength and you will always have my gratitude.”<P> My eyes had begun to tear and now the tears blurred my vision of his pitiful face.<P> “But you don’t love me.”<P> He sighed once more.<P> “Perhaps it would be better if I left.” When I heard him say that, fear got hold of me.<P> “No!” I was as surprised as he at my exclamation. “No… please, stay… here… with me. Even if you cannot love me, please don’t take away the joy of being close to you. Just being with you makes me happy; perhaps I some times can pretend that you feel fondly of me too.” He took my face between both his hands.<P> “But I do already, although it’s not…” I silenced him with a finger across his lips.<P> “Then please, be silent and let me just… pretend for a while.” <P> With that, he kissed me, rather harshly and pulled my body close to his. It moved my heart that he wished so strongly to be able to make me happy.<P> We spent the night together, there in that glade, and I was truly able to imagine that he gave me pleasure out of love, and not a will to ease my sorrow. Afterwards, when we lay together, both of us half asleep and a thought entered my mind. ‘Perhaps you can get your memory back.’ I’m not sure if I said it aloud and if he heard me if I did, he simply held me closed in his arms, keeping me safe from harm.<P> </FONT><FONT FACE="verdana"><FONT SIZE=6>F</FONT><FONT FACE="verdana"><FONT SIZE=2>rom that day forth, he slept in my room. I knew that father was oblivious about what had happened, and I’m just as sure that mother knew from day one. I’m not sure about my brothers though, I think they should have understood.<P> Everyday, I saw the guilt in his eyes and I did not have to ask him. I died, little by little every night we spent together, and he knew it, making his guilt grow.<P> My mother came to me and asked why I kept letting him come to my bed when he brought me such sadness. I smiled at her, hardly keeping the tears back.<P> “I love him.” It was as simple as that.<P> “Are you sure you are not simply in love?”<P> “I feel the same every night; I want nothing more than to hold him in my arms forever.”<P> And then I told her what he had told me, determined not to let the tears come forth. When I had finished, it was she who cried, enclosing me to her chest, but suddenly it was if I could not cry for myself. Even though I wanted more, I felt a weird kind of satisfaction just being able to make love to him.<P> “How you have grown, my dearest.” Mother’s voice seemed broken. “You shouldn’t have to feel like this for many years. Why don’t you choose to be happy instead?”<P> “Mother, this is my way to happiness.”<P> And she understood.<P> </FONT><FONT FACE="verdana"><FONT SIZE=6>O</FONT><FONT FACE="verdana"><FONT SIZE=2>ne evening, I was keeping her company in the basement. Without looking away from her pottery, she spoke to me.<P> “You know, there are men in the city who works with the loss of memory and such.” My heart skipped a beat and I did not react when the pot I had been holding went crashing towards the floor. “Raylon has spoken to a Spiritualist in Amber and he wants to speak to the two of you.” My whole being was filled with such an immense hope, that it didn’t even occur to me to object to her telling my brother of something so special. “You brother knows to do the best thing for you and he has organized a meeting for you. You will have to speak to him about the details.”<P> I stood frozen for a moment before rushing through the room and up the stairs. Oh, god, how I ran, my brother would be overseeing the cutting of trees for the extension but my soul was flying high, both with hope and with fear of the hope being false. <P> He was standing there in the dark, directing the workers. I shouted his name as soon as he was within earshot. As he turned to me against the light of the lanterns, he had never looked anymore magnificent to me than in that very moment.<P> I stopped a couple of meters away from him, my sweaty exhausted brother.<P> “Is it true?” My voice bore all the hope I carried in my heart.<P> He smiled faintly and nodded. Tears flowed from my eyes as I leaped the last few steps and threw myself into his arms; he caught me and hugged me hard.<P> “Thank you,” I forced out, “thank you so much!”<P> “I just want you to be happy,” he spoke into my hair. “Just don’t start following me around gains, okay?”<P> I could but smile, and he smiled back at me.<P> </FONT><FONT FACE="verdana"><FONT SIZE=6>I</FONT><FONT FACE="verdana"><FONT SIZE=2> told my lover about it the same night and he seemed as excited as I was, although not surprised.<P> “I spoke with your brother before I came here and he told me.” He said when I asked him about it.<P> That night, it was more beautiful than any before, true happiness was within my, and his, grasp. The feeling lasted all night long, to the morning after when we were to leave for Amber. I wasn’t worried at all, only anxious to get there.<P> Father was the only one who wasn’t there to see us of, he didn’t know and mother was to tell him after we had left. I feared that he wouldn’t allow it.<P> I kissed mother’s cheek and hugged Raylon. Mica tickled me before I got into the carriage. Both my brothers made my lover promise to take care of me and protect me.<P> We left at dawn and travelled mostly under silence. We were surrounded by an aura of bliss, everything was so beautiful. The journey took many ours, but to me it seemed only to be minutes.<P> First when we arrived in Amber, we went to my mother’s sister’s hose, where we would be staying, but we didn’t stay for long as we had an appointment with the Spiritualist. <P> My first impression of the spiritual man, was that he wasn’t very spiritual at all, and that didn’t change during the time spent with him.<P> My lover told him everything that he remembered and the Spiritualist first listened and then sat quiet for some time. Both my lover and I grew nervous waiting for him to speak.<P> “In accordance to what you say and what knowledge I have of shrines of trials, it seems to be beyond doubt that you have lost a piece of your soul.” I did not know what to say and my lover’s eyes were spread wide open. “When one takes a trial of power, different pieces of one’s soul us bestowed with new power and if the person is not able to control that new power, the piece of the soul is separated from the rest.”<P> My lover looked away, and I looked to the less-than-handsome face of the spiritual man.<P> “What can be done about it?” My voice was shaky.<P> “Well…” The Spiritualist began to stroke his beard. “There is an astral world parallel to the physical world, in which we live, were all souls reside. Usually, they are connected to the body in our world. The soul piece that has been lost simply not connected to the rest anymore. One who would recognize the soul must enter the astral plane and fuse the pieces back together.” My lover would still not look at me.<P> “So you can do that?” The Spiritualist laughed and I wanted to strangle him.<P> “Absolutely not. My part in the occasion would be to send the persons presence to the astral world and than I would be needed to pull it back in time. If one would stay to long in the astral world, the connection would brake, and the person’s soul would be lost forever.”<P> My lover rose, almost before the spiritual man had finished the sentence, took my hand and turned to walk out the door. I looked helplessly to the Spiritualist and apologized and thanked him for his time.<P> The message didn’t really connect with my mind, I felt numb as we walked the streets of Amber. We returned to my aunt’s house and ate dinner with her and her family before we retired to our assigned bedroom. First then, when we were undressing for bed, it struck me and I couldn’t hold back the tears. I sank down on the bed, half-dressed, with my face in my hands. He said nothing but simply took me in his arms and made me lay down and my sobs increased.<P> He extinguished the light and then held me close to his chest, until my sobs finally subsided and I fell into an uneasy sleep. The next time I awoke, the moon was high; shining trough the window and my lover was asleep. I watched his serene face and as I reached put to stroke away a strand of hair from his face, I saw hat he had been crying too. I could endure the pain for myself, but seeing his caused my heart to brake.<P> I knew what the Spiritualist had meant, and why my lover had dragged me out of there, He did not want me to take that great a risk, but how could I refrain when both our future happiness depended on something I could change. My mind was made up, right then, right there. <P> I silently got out of bed and put my clothes on. I made my way through the dark house without waking anybody and then trough the ghostlike streets. It did not take a long time for me to find the Spiritualist’s house. I entered and first begged his apprentice to wake his master. When that didn’t work, I bribed the robed youngster and told him that I would pay his master as well. That lit his eyes and he hurried to fetch the Spiritualist.<P> When he came, greed about his whole person, I gave him the money my mother had given me and he didn’t even bother to ask me what it was I wanted. He simply showed me to a back room with a stone table in the middle.<P> “Would you please lie down on the table, and I will induce the state on your mind.” When I didn’t move he turned to me. “Is something wrong?”<P> “No,” I shook my head. “But I’d like to ask you to please wait until the very last moment to pull me back. Give me every chance to… succeed.”<P> The Spiritualist nodded, suddenly sincere. So I laid down on the table and closed my eyes on his orders. I listened to his chanting and I inhaled the incense. Slowly I felt like I was floating into myself until I wasn’t myself anymore.<P> The hardest thing about it was to get used to being at the astral plane. I couldn’t see anything, nor hear or smell. It was all emotions and they all seemed to blend together. But, as soon as I learned how to separate what was souls and what was space, and what part of the physical plane they represented, it wasn’t hard for me to find him. After all, I loved him more than anything in this world.<P> The piece of his soul that had separated from the rest was close by and I clearly recognized him in it, but it did seem different somehow. I had no idea how U was supposed to do and it was hard to keep my thoughts together. So, I simply embraced hi, if it can be done there. It worked, I could feel the parts fusing together again. But at the same time, I felt my own strength of mind fading quickly. More and more, I was filled by is presence, my one true love, we were like one, closer than ever before, and I didn’t want to let go.<P> But then I felt someone, tugging at me, and my state of mind became somewhat more focused, I sort of remembered the danger in staying, and I tried to let go, it was so hard, but at last I broke free of my own emotions and tried to make my way back.<P> My strength faded quickly then, and I struggled so hard, and finally I could feel myself returning to my body. But I couldn’t open my eyes, and I felt myself drifting away, not back to the astral plane, but still in the physical world, although I weren’t physical… anymore. I was standing next to my body. I saw myself laying there on the stone table, eyes closed, dead to the world. The Spiritualist had a sort of panicked look on his face, sweat pearling on his forehead. I realised that something, everything, had gone wrong.<P> My thoughts went directly to my lover, had I not been able to save him? Before I realised what happened I was with him and he was running the still dark streets of Amber, not fully dressed, his eyes filled with some kind of unknown terror. I was convinced then, that I had failed and I wanted to cry, but no tears would come from my eyes. I looked upon myself, and I saw through myself. My arm was transparent and felt distant from my mind.<P> Without me doing anything, I followed my lover’s chase through the city, toward the Spiritualist’s house. Well there, I horror-struck saw him grab the apprentice and violently pin him to the wall. He shouted to him, asking were I were. When the apprentice wouldn’t answer, my lover punched him hard in the face and then the young man pointed toward the door that I had went through earlier the same night. My lover dashed for the door and trough it but halted when he saw my body on the table. Bent over it stood the spiritual man. He spun around when he heard my lover enter. He blurted out desperate explanations, scared to death. The look on my lovers face was pure animal, a fury that I’d never seen before in my life, and never again its like.<P> The Spiritualist fled the room. For a long time, he just stood looking at my body; his face had gone completely blank, but his eyes, oh, those eyes. How I wish that I could forget the look of them. I cannot describe how horrible I felt, so I will not try.<P> Then, he slowly walked closer and finally came to stand right next to e. He took my hand in one of his and with his other he slightly touched my face. His eyes began to tear. He said something I couldn’t hear. He knelt beside the table clutching my hand in his both, resting his forehead on the marble slab.<P> He was suffering, so badly, and it was all my fault, all my doing, and I couldn’t even take him in my arms and comfort him. I couldn’t even cry for him.<P> It was then I heard him, he kept saying it over and over again: ‘I love you, I love you, I love you.’ I could hardly believe what I was hearing, he finally said that he loved me. I stepped closer to him, my feet not touching the floor. I reached out to touch him, but my hand didn’t connect. My one true love was finally mine, but I could never truly be his. Since then, I’ve felt numb, filled with tear I would never be able to cry.<P> Some time later, he rose and took my body in his arms. He came out in the street just in time to see the sun rise.<P> </FONT><FONT FACE="verdana"><FONT SIZE=6>H</FONT><FONT FACE="verdana"><FONT SIZE=2>e took the body to my parent’s house by a closed carriage. Well there, he left it from plain view and waited for my family to gather. He couldn’t face them, but looked down in the ground. At first, they couldn’t grasp the meaning of it all, but when my lover knelt on the ground, they all knew that something was wrong.<P> He began by explaining what the Spiritualist had told the both of us and then telling what I had done. He finished by saying that my spirit was lost although my body would keep on living.<P> They all just stood there, looking at him in utter disbelief. My mother began to cry and Raylon threw himself forward, grabbing my lover roughly by his long beautiful hair and hitting him hard in the face. Me lover was thrown to the ground. I wanted to still my brother’s wrath, the fault was mine, but there was of course unable to.<P> “Bastard! You promised to keep her safe!” He again seized my lover. “I’ll kill you! Damn it all, I’ll kill you!” He moved as to kick him in the face and my lover did nothing to defend himself. I wanted to shout to Raylon to stop it, but I had no voice, I looked away so that I didn’t have to see it.<P> “Stop it Raylon!” It was my mother, her voice was nearly hysterical and I looked up, My brother fought for control over his anger and finally let go of my lover and stormed of. Mother was crying openly and father was looking stern. I couldn’t see Mica’s eyes as he hung his head, his long brown hair hiding his face. My love got up from lying on the on the ground, only to bow before my parents, his forehead in the dirt, the most of all resignations.<P> When he spoke, his voice sounded dark and sombre, broken.<P> “I love your daughter more than anything on this earth. She brought me back my soul, memory and name, yet I do not deserve any of it. To repay you for your loss, I will not rest nor use my name, until I have brought her back to you.”<P> I couldn’t believe what he was saying, and I wished desperately for him to take it back, or for my parents to refuse is pledge. No one said anything for a long time, my lover stayed in hid uncomfortable position, waiting for father’s response.<P> “Mica, take your sister to her room.”<P> My brother first looked as if he didn’t understand father’s words, but he nodded solemnly and went up to the carriage. He tenderly lifted the body and seemed surprised of how little it weighed. When he had disappeared into the house, father went up to his own, already saddled horse, untied its reins and then approached my lover.<P> “Take this horse,” he said with a voice I’ve never heard him use before, cold, so very cold. “Be gone from my sight.”<P> With that he turned around and led my mother into the house. My lover slowly rose, took the reins, sat up and rode of.<P><P> </FONT><FONT FACE="verdana"><FONT SIZE=6>D</FONT><FONT FACE="verdana"><FONT SIZE=2>’vorian did not know what to tell the immensely sad figure of the young girl.<P> “Since then, I’ve followed him around the country he’s searching for someone who can help him complete the oath to my family.<P> The girl looked at him with such honesty, displaying her sorrow so openly that he couldn’t understand how she could remain so pure.<P> “That’s why I ask of you, to please tell him to try and find his own happiness, my parents will understand. He’s been searching for so long now, constantly suffering. Please, tell him to get over me, and that there is no way to bring me back.” Cara’s voice seemed so frail that it might brake, along with her sanity.<P> D’vorian looked at her, openly surprised.<P> “But my dear, of course there is a way!”<P> </FONT>